Near to You
by Clowie
Summary: A sonfic,mostly Hermione's POV. Kinda AU, set OOTP Read and enjoy- Near to you I'm healing but its taking so long


Near To You  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything, its all J.K Rowling's (shhh she's a genius):D

**Author Note:** Well this is a one shot R/Hr, set OOTP from Hermione's POV, kinda AU and based on the song Near to You by A Fine Frenzy,

Cheers, enjoy

She knew what they had looked like from a distance, a fling, a brief, almost non-existent, speck of a romance. To an outsider their relationship would appear as forgettable as a pleasant summer breeze, nothing extraordinary.

Yet this was where an outsiders perspective faltered, this was a situation that nobody else could claim to know entirely. Logical as she was, Hermione Granger knew that nobody could know for certain what lay in another person's heart; for who their fire blazed, who filled their dreams, who _was_ their dream. She knew how significant their relationship was, no matter how insignificant it looked to others. It was hers, no one else's, and she cuddled it to her, clung to the secret, held onto the beauty of knowing what was only hers to know.

Beautiful as it was, her relationship with Viktor, the brief romance that had expanded into so much more, wasn't meant to last. Though she felt something crack, a black cloud envelop her heart, she had known that eventually she would end it, shatter the fantasy. He was too far away, it was too dysfunctional. Letters staked up against her bedroom wall, the worn paper of distant memories, beautiful moments, was all she had left now. The torn piece of parchment she clutched in her hand would be the last she would send, it was time to move away, no matter how painful, no matter how much she loved him.

This was it, it had to be. Slowly she dried the few remaining tears from her eyes and moved towards an owl, gently tying the letter to its leg. Silently she watched it fly away, its wings creating a peaceful tune as it rhythmically weaved its way through the sky.

_He and I had something beautiful  
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last  
I loved him so but I let him go  
'Cause I knew he'd never love me back

* * *

_

Something broke, a piece dislodged itself from her heart. Sporadically bursting into fits of tears, unable to control the shaking, she was unable to stop the quaking emptiness, the hollow void of despair. Loneliness overwhelmed her at any given moment, leaving her quaking, weeping, and slipping further away. She knew she was worrying everyone, she was worrying herself, but she couldn't seem to move away, couldn't extract herself from her downwards spiral, wouldn't fight the foreboding depression.

Curled up by the fire in the common room was her favourite place to brood, she could just sit and watch the flames flicking upwards, allow her mind to whirl away and pretend she was just studying, pretend she was Hermione again. This didn't fool Ron though, he would watch her thoughtfully when he thought she didn't know, stare at her and allow his eyes to care for her. She knew he hated to see her like this, she knew, even if he didn't yet, that he cared about her as more then a friend. Though she didn't know how she felt about that, the thought instantly warmed her, slowly added another piece to the broken jigsaw of her heart.

_Such pain as this  
Shouldn't have to be experienced  
I'm still reeling from the loss,  
Still a little bit delirious

* * *

_

"Hermione, are you okay?" she'd been watching him watch her from across the room and suddenly he was right in front of her, searching her eyes for a sign, asking her to tell him everything. The untamed emotion in his eyes startled her, the blazing passion; a fire she could lose herself in, a desire only she could see. Something for her to hold onto in the lonely nights, something only she knew about. Just the thought made her smile, so she nodded her head, watching him smile uncertainly back. This was better, the pain began to drift away, shift into her unconsciousness, still there, still thudding, but distant.

"Just sit with me for a while, please Ron," she added the last part in a whisper, not sure why this was so hard. His smile broadened as he sat down, draping an arm over her shoulder and drawing her into his warmth, his strength. She felt something shift inside her, a warm fuzziness, the giddying thud of a new beginning.

_  
Near to you, I am healing  
But it's taking so long  
'Cause though he's gone  
And you are wonderful  
It's hard to move on  
Yet, I'm better near to you.

* * *

_

They'd always been best friends and she knew that, before Viktor, there had always been the threat that they might turn into more. She'd long ago labelled it as a silly crush, a childhood fantasy, but now it didn't seem stupid, now the threat was gone and to her the thought of something more was a wonderful possibility. She shook her head, it was too soon for thoughts like that, it was too soon for her heart to be broken again.

Her heart stopped in an instant when he flashed that lopsided grin, roughly pulling her up, sparks shooting through her skin, setting her on fire.

"Come on Hermione! It's time for a bit of a laugh, no more books for a couple of hours, okay?"

Before she would have screeched at him and huffed upstairs to continue reading, before a group of butterflies wouldn't be flying around her stomach, those puppy dog eyes wouldn't have melted her, made her lose her ability to speak. Numbly she nods and he, smiling roguishly, drags her towards the portrait hole, laughing all the way.

Suddenly nothing else existed but him. Her heart swelled as she thought of him, she stumbles forward whenever he touches her, whenever words waft from those gorgeous lips. It's too soon and she's free falling once more, this has to stop. This has to end. But it won't, because she feels too damn good, another piece of her heart shifts back into place as he takes her hand in his, as the fire erupts from within.

_  
You and I have something different  
And I'm enjoying it cautiously  
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard  
To get back to who I used to be

* * *

_

They sit by the lake, just talking, the conversation flowing with ease as the familiarity, the pure comfort of each other, shields them like a blanket, allows them for a moment, just a moment, to forget about the rest of the world.

When they were younger this had been a regular occasion, sitting under the shade of a tree, watching the lake and laughing, the simplicity of youth had been theirs to share. The only thing different now, she thought, was that there was no Harry sitting with them, he'd been so distant lately and they, her and Ron, had been forced to spend more time alone together waiting for Harry, not that she was complaining.

It was like getting to know each other again, not just relying on the basics they learnt in childhood, understanding the other as an individual and being able to see their hearts greatest desires. For Hermione just something as simple as talking; his arm draped over her shoulder, listening to his heart beat, inhaling his smell, letting him and only him, occupy her mind before the madness returned once more; was more than enough. She knew that he felt the edge to move forward; the heavy lidded look creeping into his eyes whenever she got too close to him told her, she could almost feel the creature purring in his chest whenever she leant into him; but she also knew he'd wait.

He coughed and she looked up, giving him her full attention.

"About, umm, you know, Viktor," his not looking at her, she knows his afraid he might upset her, that he is unable to see her cry. Yet, apart from a dull pang in the recesses of her heart, she doesn't feel anything, slowly his going, fading away along with the pain.

"I don't know if I ever told you this but… he's a complete prat, I mean, well I always saw him as a ruddy pumpkin head and…you…you…you deserve so much better," as he whispers the last bit his eyes focus on hers, she can see the hidden message, what is left unsaid. He'll wait.

_  
He's disappearing  
Fading suddenly  
I'm so close to being yours  
Won't you stay with me  
Please

* * *

_

Another afternoon alone with Ron, another blissful memory, and she sinks further, falls deeper. But this time she wants to be falling, this time she's falling because she knows he'll catch her.

"I'll left you two alone together all afternoon and no one's dead!" Harry laughs as the three of them take their places near the fire. She forces a laugh, keeping some façade, pretending that they still share the same friendship, Harry doesn't know yet, Harry doesn't need to know yet. This is her, their, secret. He laughs to and unconsciously she moves closer to him, her laughter becomes real. They look at each other, blue locks with brown, and suddenly they can't stop laughing, nothing exist for a moment but the other and they stay in this total perfection. Then Harry coughs, shifting awkwardly, unsure as to what has overtaken his best friends, and they stop, reality kicks in once more.

_  
Near to you, I am healing  
But it's taking so long  
'Cause though he's gone  
And you are wonderful  
It's hard to move on  
Yet, I'm better near to you.

* * *

_

Curled up on a couch in front of the fire, cackling and spitting, yellow and red swaying in all directions, she feels safe, pretending to sleep as she runs through everything in her head. He walks down from the boys' dormitories, exhausted but unable to sleep, troubled by thoughts of her. He sees her curled up by the fire, books sprayed across the floor, her hair a complete mess sprayed out in all directions, and he can't stop the goofy grin creeping up his face. She senses someone near but doesn't move, sleep is slowly making progress in claiming her, it's too hard to resist.

He moves towards her, quietly, not wanting to startle, to disturb peaceful dreams. Maybe she's dreaming of him, like he does of her, lost in the tranquillity, the simplistic beauty of what's not yet real. She was almost his, he could sense it, feel it, feel her next to him, with him. Who would've thought poor, lanky Ron Weasley could ever own something, something so beautiful, the girl he loved so dearly, the girl he had always loved.

Slowly he bends down in front of her, watching over her, as always, trying to protect her from the rest of the world. Shyly he reaches out his hand to place a lock of hair behind her ear, his hand lingers tracing the outline of those features that so haunt his dreams, revelling in the feel of her skin on his fingers.

Sinking into a dream his there waiting for her, reaching out to touch her, hold her. She leans into his touch as he strokes her cheek, the feel ignites something within her, electrifying, real. She opens her eyes and his speaking, reassuring her, loving her.

He's not looking at her, not really, because he feels that if he does he wont be able to get this off his chest, if he does the words will seem to much, even though she can't hear him.

"I'm not real good with words as you've pointed out loads of times," he pauses, steadying himself, "Bloody hell, this is hard! I'm just going to say it, I know I'm a prat and you'll probably never say this back but…I love…I love…I love you" he sighs and begins to get up but something warm holds him back and, unexpectedly, his eyes lock with brown.

Her heart swells, tears drip down her cheeks and suddenly, joyfully, it all kicks in. This isn't a dream but wonderful reality. With him, finally with him, everything looks brighter, this is perfection. This is love.

His looking at her, searching her for an answer to his unasked question, compressing the mountain of emotions about to explode, come crashing down over his teaspoon.

She knows this is right, looking within herself everything falls into place, the dream moves away, turning surely into reality.

"I love you to," the words coming of her lips have never seen more right; this is definitely another correct answer, her biggest achievement.

_  
I only know that I am  
Better where you are  
I only know that I am  
Better where you are  
I only know that I belong  
Where you are  
_

Slowly they melt into each other; no longer can they resist the bubbling passion, the earnest love. It all fits. Perfectly imperfect.

_  
Yet, I'm better near to you_

**Author's Note: **I hope you liked it, read and review 'cause they make my day. Cheers!


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